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Christmas Wishes For All 30 NBA Teams

Merry Dionte Christmas and Happy Jrue Holiday(s), everyone.

In the spirit of the season, here's a look at what all 30 NBA teams should be asking Santa Claus for, just as long as they're not on his naughty list.

Here's looking at you, Detroit. 

Atlanta Hawks: A time machine

The 2021 NBA playoffs weren't all that long ago, but considering where the team currently finds itself, it feels like a lifetime. An Eastern Conference finals appearance has since led to a pair of first-round exits the last two seasons. Atlanta is holding on for dear life with the final play-in spot in, and a once promising future is now clouded with great uncertainty. 

Boston Celtics: The Larry O'Brien trophy

Five different teams have won the NBA championship over the past five seasons, which hasn't happened since 1977-81. The Celtics aren't a part of that crop of teams, unfortunately, but that drought may soon end. They're one of two teams with a top-five offense and defense, the starting lineup is stacked to the brim with talent, and they're deep enough to (potentially) overcome any injuries which may occur. 

Brooklyn Nets: Ben Simmons

NBA Twitter spent the entire summer hyping up the return of Simmons to action, showcasing workout reels and past highlights of what he's capable of with a back that isn't failing him. We saw glimpses of brilliances through his six appearances this season, but he's once again sidelined with an ailing back. It's such a shame. 

Charlotte Hornets: Relevancy 

The common basketball fan could probably only name LaMelo Ball from Charlotte's core, and Ball isn't exactly around long enough to make highlight-reels anymore due to injury. Miles Bridges makes headlines, but for all of the wrong reasons. This is an organization in desperate need of some good vibes, or at the very least something positive. Anything, really. 

Chicago Bulls: A Zach LaVine Trade

If there was ever a sign that a trade was inevitable, it's Chicago racking up eight wins in its last 11 games sans its second-leading scorer while Coby White and Patrick Patterson thrive in larger roles. The basketball gods are telling you it's time, Windy City. There's no time like the present. 

Cleveland Cavaliers: Donovan Mitchell Affirmation 

The Cavaliers gave up future All-Star Lauri Markkanen, Collin Sexton, Ochai Agbaji, three unprotected first-round picks, and two swaps for Mitchell, so Cleveland is clearly invested in making things work with the four-time All-Star. The question now becomes whether or not Mitchell (who's locked in through next season) is invested in being a Cavalier, as this season appears to be a wash with the slew of injuries ravaging the roster. 

Dallas Mavericks: Kyrie Irving

Having a bonafide star next to Luka Doncic was of the utmost importance, not just to keep Doncic happy and invested, but to improve Dallas' ceiling from playoff contender to title threat. Kyrie Irving has been the answer to that conundrum, but a heel injury on December 8 has kept him off the floor since. He'll be back eventually, and when he does, the Mavericks can play up to their potential once again. 

Denver Nuggets: Inspiration

If you can go 19-10 while experiencing what many would call a "championship hangover," than you're probably in good shape. The Nuggets aren't playing poorly, but a keen eye can tell they're ready to move on from the regular season and start defending their title immediately. Who can blame them? Just add this to the powerpoint presentation on why the season is too long. 

Detroit Pistons: A win

Let's start with a single victory to end the ongoing 25-game losing streak and go from there. Wishing for consecutive wins is beyond even the mystical powers of Saint Nicholas himself. If not a win, then perhaps a giant hug because this stretch must be emotionally draining for everyone involved.

Golden State Warriors: A future without Draymond Green

Dynasties crumble all of the time. Nothing lasts forever. Green has been a staple of the Warriors franchise for as long as we can remember, and in his defense, he's not fully to blame for Golden State's issues. They're finding success through his recent absence, though, and the headaches he provides may no longer be worth the trouble. 

Houston Rockets: Continued optimism 

The West is such a crowded mess of teams jockeying for position, but the Rockets are right there in thick of it hanging tough. That's a massive win for an organization that's failed to qualify for the playoffs the last three years. Alperen Sengun is a rising star in the making, and while the Fred VanVleet contract left a lot to be desired, he's proven to be a worthy floor general for the young guns surrounding him.

Indiana Pacers: The In-season tournament hype back

The Pacers were the fun, loveable underdogs who went undefeated through the NBA's inaugural In-Season Tournament before coming up short in the Finals. It was something to build off of. They were on top of the world, at least for a little while. Can we turn back the clock, please? The Pacers have only beaten the Pistons and Hornets since then, and they're the only teams with a worse defense than they're own.

Los Angeles Lakers: A banner people care for

The Lakers got ripped a new one upon hanging a banner at Crypto.com Arena for the In-Season Tournament. They're the inaugural champions, and with that comes some historic value. But when you're a 17-time NBA champion, anything outside of that seems frivolous and cheap. It's still a feather in the Lakers' cap, and someone had to win the NBA Cup, but nothing beats Larry O'B. 

Los Angeles Clippers: Bubble wrap

The reason the Clippers made the trade for James Harden initially was as insurance for an inevitable injury to one or both of Kawhi Leonard and Paul George. The Achilles heel of this team has been a poor bill of health in the postseason, yet through the first quarter or so of the 2023-24 campaign, injuries to key players have been few and far between. Now if only they could maintain such luck and carry that over to when the games matter most in April, May, and June. 

Memphis Grizzlies: No more Ja Morant issues

Morant's return to action against the Pelicans on December 19 was ripped straight from a movie. The superstar saviour returns to aid his fallen comrades, carrying them to glory once again in truly dramatic fashion. Morant is good for the league, so here's hoping all of the off-court tomfoolery is a thing of the past and he and the Grizzlies can pick up where they left off. 

Miami Heat: Whatever the missing ingredient is

Even Jolly Old Saint Nick doesn't hold all of the answers. Emerging from February's trade deadline with the same roster in place would be a mistake. Rookie Jaime Jaquez Jr. has been a revelation, and Tyler Herro looks like a star since his return, but is that enough to lift the Heat? Last year's playoff run to the Finals as a play-in entrant was inspiring stuff, but getting beyond that to actually capture a title may require some maneuvering of parts. 

Milwaukee Bucks: a return to form defensively

Milwaukee is giving up 9.3 more points per 100 possessions than they did a season ago, now ranking 20th in team defense after finishing fourth in 2022-23. Some of that drop-off can be attributed to parting with Jrue Holiday in exchange for Damian Lillard, but the blame doesn't fall solely on Lillard's shoulders. Some of it is simply effort and getting back in transition, and perhaps first-year head coach Adrian Griffin needs his players communicating better on that end, as well. Maintaining the status quo won't win a second title in four years.

Minnesota Timberwolves: April 20, 2024

There's likely a 4/20 joke in here somewhere, probably because you would need to have been smoking something fierce projecting the Timberwolves to have a 2.5-game lead as the No. 1 seed in the West by Christmas time. This isn't a fluke start, because Minnesota's luck would have worn off by now. They're the real deal, and in a perfect world, the aforementioned date for when the 2024 playoffs kick off would be tomorrow and not four months away.

New Orleans Pelicans: Less zion discourse

There's no denying Zion Williamson's all-world talent and basketball ability. That's never been in question. What many seem to focus on more so, however, is his conditioning, weight, and overall desire to be elite. A lot of the conversations are brought on by his own actions, and we've heard from many hall-of-famers like Shaquille O'Neal and Charles Barkley who truly want what's best for Williamson. The overall consensus is that the 23-year-old behemoth can be so much more than he is. Seeing that manifest would do a lot of good for his career.

New York Knicks: More respect for brunson

The latest online chitter-chatter pertaining to Jalen Brunson being too small to lead a championship team and the subsequent backlash stemming from it was a tad unnecessary. The initial thought process wasn't without merit, though. Rarely in the NBA do players of Brunson's stature take teams to the promised land. Does that mean he's not worthy of our respect and admiration? Only one team wins the title every year, and Brunson 25.3 points and near six assists per game as a No. 1 option are fantastic numbers for a player in that spotlight. New York loves Brunson. Let's all love Brunson. 

Oklahoma City Thunder: An MVP for sGA

Outside of the usual suspects and recent Most Valuable Player recipients like Joel Embiid and Nikola Jokic, is any one player more important to their team than Shai Gilgeous-Alexander is to the Thunder? Las Vegas certainly agrees, and Oklahoma City's 18-8 record only validates Gilgeous-Alexander's play. He ranks fifth in the league in scoring, first in steals, and third in win shares. If not for the aforementioned names, Gilgeous-Alexander would be running away as the heavy favorite for his first career MVP.

Orlando Magic: a trip to disney world

Do you believe in magic? Better yet, do you believe in the Magic? It's hard not to. The dynamic duo of reigning Rookie of the Year Paolo Banchero and former No. 8 overall pick Franz Wagner are too much for opposing sides to handle most nights. Orlando is one of the Association's worst 3-point shooting teams at just 33.5% (29th), but that hasn't hurt the Magic in the win-loss column to a great extent as of yet. Send the players to Epcot or Hollywood Studios for the day. It's just around the corner. They deserve it. 

Philadelphia 76ers: Shutting up the naysayers

Removing James Harden from the equation and banking on the continued ascension of Tyrese Maxey, paired with Joel Embiid playing arguably the best basketball of his life, has put the Sixers in the position they're in today. However, since Philadelphia has failed to advance beyond the second round since "The Process" began, no matter what the Sixers achieve in the regular season, everything still comes down to getting over that hump. Who would bet against them doing so this time around?

Phoenix Suns: A healthy Bradley beal

I'm sure the Suns didn't envision Bradley Beal playing a grand total of 151 minutes through the team's first 27 games, but here we are. The Beal-Devin Booker-Kevin Durant threesome looks tremendous on paper, but we haven't seen enough of it to get truly excited, nor do we really know if it's cohesive enough to result in more victories. 

Portland Trail Blazers: A redo on Ayton

Bringing aboard Deandre Ayton was a necessity in order to facilitate the three-team deal which ultimately moved Damian Lillard to Milwaukee. Dollars and cents, there was no working around this. Ayton can average a double-double in his sleep, and as far as rebuilding a roster goes, you can do a lot worse than a 25-year-old center who was drafted first overall. That's the nice part of it all, anyway. Defensively, Ayton is one of the worst in basketball when it comes to defensive rating, and his touch around the rim has failed him more often than not. Portland is stuck with him through 2026 barring a trade, but who would take him on?

Sacramento Kings: more from murray 

Shooters shoot, and Keegan Murray can put up shots with the best of them. His 47-point outburst against the Jazz on December 16 quieted a number of circulating reports concerning Sacramento's apparent willingness to part with the 23-year-old sophomore in order to shore up the team's defense. Murray's year has been up and down, fluctuating from stretch to stretch with a shot that's slowly finding some consistency. If the Kings want to keep him around, his efficiency will need to balance out. And sure, more 40-point nights wouldn't hurt either.

San Antonio Spurs: Help for wembanyama

Expecting a meteoric rise out the Spurs upon drafting Victor Wembanyama, akin to what they accomplished upon selecting David Robinson and Tim Duncan in their respective drafts, was probably asking too much. The Frenchman is still a once-in-a-lifetime talent, but San Antonio's lack of success early on is hindering his rookie year. There are clear issues concerning the makeup of the roster which need to be addressed, mainly the point guard situation and whether or not the likes of Devin Vassell, Keldon Johnson, and Jeremy Sochan are the right complementary pieces to aid in Wembanyama's development. 

Toronto Raptors: A Direction

Are the Raptors truly vying for a playoff spot? Is the play-in tournament good enough? Will the front office blow up the roster at the trade deadline? No one really knows, and without any answers, fans of the franchise will continue to be frustrated.

Utah Jazz: A rocket

No, not a Houston Rocket. It's not even the rockets candy you can pick up for cheap at a local bulk food store. It's a proverbial rocket that needs to be strapped to the young talent on the roster, and for that to occur, the likes of Jordan Clarkson, and Kelly Olynyk need to be moved alongside pieces Utah may not covet as much for the future. Thank you for your services, but some retooling needs to transpire here. 

Washington Wizards: more games against Bottom Feeders

The five victories the Wizards have for the season have come against opponents with a combined record of 38-97, with only the 14-13 Pacers currently above the .500 mark. Washington at least knows how to close out teams hanging out in the basement alongside them. It's just beating everyone else that's an issue. 

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