In the spirit of the holiday season, I've got a gift for every NFL team and fanbase. Some teams need a present more than others, but all 32 squads will find something under the tree this year:
AFC Team NFL Christmas Gifts
Baltimore Ravens: A Healthy Running Back
First JK Dobbins and now Keaton Mitchell. The Ravens are one of the best rushing teams in the NFL, and they're doing it despite an endless stream of RB injuries. The Ravens have Super Bowl potential, but they really need Gus Edwards to stay healthy to reach it.
Buffalo Bills: Fulfilled Potential
The Bills have had serious title hopes for the last few seasons and, in typical Buffalo football fashion, they always fall short. Maybe this year, despite the topsy-turvy regular season, is when they finally meet those expectations. It would be quite the gift for Western New York, if they do.
Cincinnati Bengals: New Wrist Ligaments
When Joe Burrow tore the ligaments in his right wrist, the Bengals' 2023-24 season ended. If they invent miracle wrist ligament surgery in the next few days, maybe Cinci's 2024 Super Bowl hopes are back on the menu.
Cleveland Browns: A Joe Flacco Miracle Run
The Baltimore Ravens' 2013 Super Bowl run was one of the best times of my life (Is that sad? I think so). This year's Cleveland Browns remind me a lot of that team: elite coach, a few elite receiving weapons, and an unexpectedly elite Joe Flacco. Does Joe have another Super Bowl MVP in him?
Denver Broncos: A Defense
The fact that the Broncos are in playoff consideration with a defense this bad is almost impressive. They've allowed 351 points in 15 weeks (the most in the AFC), and are one of the worst teams in the league at stopping running backs and tight ends.
Houston Texans: A Handkerchief
... to wipe that smirk off their faces. Everything's finally going right for Texans fans this year. Even if they don't make the playoffs they've got the quarterback, young studs on defense, and plenty of hope for the future
Indianapolis Colts: Bubble Wrap
Those four games of Anthony Richardson sure were magical, eh? If the Colts can keep him healthy, AR looks like a real dual-threat QB. With his play style, it looks like they'll need to bubble wrap Richardson up to keep him on the field, though.
Jacksonville Jaguars: A Few More Big Boys
The Jaguars are strong across the field, except for the offensive line. The Jags' O-Line ranked out 28th in Pro Football Network's latest line rankings, and it's preventing them from protecting Trevor Lawrence and running the ball as well as they'll need to.
Kansas City Chiefs: Some Hands For Kadarius Toney
Kadarius Toney has dropped 13.2% of his targets this year, the highest mark of his career. It's been a frustrating problem for Patrick Mahomes and Chiefs fans all year, and now it's directly leading to interceptions. Toney is looking for a new set of hands under his tree this year.
Kadarius Toney bobbles a perfect throw from Mahomes and it leads to an interception
— Ben Brown 🌻 (@BenBrownPL) December 17, 2023
The Chiefs need to cut this man ASAP pic.twitter.com/Rj279fdHI7
Las Vegas Raiders: Get Out Of Coach Free Card
After firing Jon Gruden and Josh McDaniels after inking them to massive coaching contracts, the Raiders are currently paying the pair of coaches between $40-$80 million to NOT coach for them. They need a 'get out of coach free' card for their next HC mistake.
Los Angeles Chargers: Bill Belichick
The Chargers need a coach to come in and fix their floundering defense and revive the career of Justin Herbert. Bill Belichick may be on the outs in New England, but he's the exact kind of culture shakeup needed in SoCal.
Miami Dolphins: Ice Packs
The Dolphins have as much upside as any team in the league. They just need to keep Tua, Jalen Ramsey, De'Von Achane, and Tyreek Hill healthy to reach it. Some basic medical supplies should help the cause.
New England Patriots: Drake Maye
The Patriots aren't going to have the opportunity to draft Caleb Williams in the 2024 NFL Draft, but they should be in a position for the next-best thing. UNC QB Drake Maye should bring a dynamism to the Patriots' offense we haven't seen in years.
New York Jets: 17+ Games Of Aaron Rodgers
The Jets have everything they need for a successful season, I think. They just need it to come together. A healthy offensive line and consistent Breece Hall play will go a long way for New York's 2024-25 hopes, but a full season of Aaron Rodgers at QB is the biggest must.
Pittsburgh Steelers: Direction
The Pittsburgh Steelers have won between seven and nine games in five of the last six years. Mike Tomlin has never had a losing record, but that hasn't really been a good thing recently. The Steelers are drifting into mediocrity, and need to pick a direction.
Tennessee Titans: A Fresh Start
The Tennessee Titans are old, Derrick Henry is nearing the end of his shelf life, and there isn't much hope for a successful 2024-25 season. Maybe Will Levis is the long-term answer at QB, but across the roster the Titans need to reset and, probably, rebuild.
NFC Team NFL Christmas Gifts
Arizona Cardinals: A Ban On Call of Duty Games
It doesn't look like the Cardinals are going to be bad enough to draft Caleb Williams or Drake Maye this year, so they're probably stuck with Kyler Murray for another season. They're gonna need him on the field and off his XBox next year, if they want to win any games.
Atlanta Falcons: A New Offensive Gameplan
How does an offense with Bijan Robinson, Drake London, and Kyle Pitts fall so flat. It's a question Falcons and NFL fans have been asking for two years. They need some new coaches, or at least a new gameplan, in Georgia.
Carolina Panthers: Hope
Not a single thing has gone right for the Panthers recently. They can't figure out the coach, they can't figure out the quarterback, and they don't even have their own 2024 first-round pick. Panthers fans just need ANYTHING to go right.
Chicago Bears: A Crystal Ball
The Chicago Bears are going to have the hardest decision of the offseason: Stick with Justin Fields or draft Caleb Williams. They need to look into the future and figure out what way to go.
Dallas Cowboys: More Of This Dak
Coming into this season, Cowboys fans I talked to seemed to think Dak Prescott was this mediocre turnover machine. This year, he's been anything but. The Cowboys QB has been a real MVP candidate and has just four interceptions in his first 15 games.
Detroit Lions: A Playoff Win
The Lions haven't won a postseason contest since 1991. For a city that's been so deprived of any sports success lately, they need this.
Green Bay Packers: Another Rodgers/Favre
The Packers may already have their next MVP-candidate QB in house. If Jordan Love keeps progressing and showing more flashes as he has this year, the Packers are going to be set at QB for the next decade... again.
Los Angeles Rams: The Cure for Aging
Matthew Stafford, when healthy, has been so good for the Rams. He's almost single-handily prevented them from a full-blown rebuild. But, at 35 years old, it's not clear how much longer Stafford can carry this LA team.
Minnesota Vikings: A New Kirk Cousins Contract
I get the thought that the Vikings should move on from Cousins, but he looked so good before the injury this year. I'd have no hesitation about locking up Kirk to another big contract and trying to keep the winning going in Minny.
New Orleans Saints: Direction
The Saints are kind of the Steelers of the NFC, so they get the same gift. Like Pittsburgh, New Orleans has been treading water in mediocrity for too long. Commit to a direction.
New York Giants: A Cutlet Ban
The Tommy Devito Italian experience was fun for a few games. He's clearly over the shtick and so should Giants fans. They've gotta start worrying less about memes, and more about who the heck is going to be the QB of the future. Is Daniel Jones really the answer?
Philadelphia Eagles: Commitment
If you ask Jalen Hurts, the only thing missing from this current Eagles team is some commitment. I don't know how you wrap that up and put it under a tree, but I'm sure Santa will figure out the logistics. You're welcome Jalen.
#Eagles QB Jalen Hurts mentions he doesn't think the team is 'committed enough' right now.
— Ari Meirov (@MySportsUpdate) December 19, 2023
When asked what he means: "Commitment. I don't have a dictionary on me now."
An eye-popping answer...pic.twitter.com/iscJpkukcm
San Francisco 49ers: A Brock Purdy MVP
49ers fans are spoiled. They've got a great coach, probably the most talented roster in football, and no signs of slowing down. All they need now is their Mr. Irrelevant QB to win MVP — and he's currently the favorite.
Seattle Seahawks: A JSN Breakout
I loved the Seahawks' pick of Jaxon-Smith Njiba in the first round of last year's draft. But, they've struggled to get him the ball at times this year, with DK Metcalf and Tyler Lockett both also in the fold at WR. Next year, Seattle has to find a way to manufacture a JSN breakout.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers: A Win Over The Saints
The Buccaneers are currently tied at 7-7 with the Saints at the top of the NFC South division. The two tied teams face off in Week 17, and the Bucs can essentially clinch a playoff spot with a win over New Orleans.
Washington Commanders: A Horseshoe
After trading away Chase Young and Montez Sweat, the Commanders have two second-round picks and two fourth-round picks in the upcoming draft, alongside a probably top-five pick in the opening round. That's the type of draft haul that could change a franchise, but they've gotta get luck and nail the picks.
