It's the holiday season! So, Santa Mitch and St. Nick decided to look over the Christmas Wish Lists of every NFL team and fanbase.
What will the elves cook up for your team this year? Some squads need a present more than others, but all 32 teams will find something under the tree this year:
AFC Team NFL Christmas Wish Lists
Baltimore Ravens: Discipline
The Ravens might be Super Bowl favorites if they didn't take a million penalties. The Ravens are the most penalized team in football this year, earning 8.4 per game. You can blame the refs all you want, but ultimately this falls on the players and coaches. Smarten up Baltimore!
Buffalo Bills: A Miracle Run
The Bills have had these same serious title hopes for years. They're always in the playoffs, fighting for the one seed, and one of the Super Bowl favs. But, in typical Buffalo football fashion, they always fall short.
Maybe this year — with the Ravens and Chiefs seemingly not as dominant as they have been — it's Buffalo's year? A Super Bowl would be quite the gift for Western New York.
Cincinnati Bengals: An Entirely New Defense
Joe Burrow has thrown for 36 passing touchdowns, Ja'Marr Chase is balling out, and the Bengals' offense is averaging 29 points per game — 3rd-most in the AFC.
But, the Bengals are somehow 6-8 because their defense has allowed the most points of any team in the conference. There aren't many bright spots on D for Cinci, so they can wish for an entirely new defense this winter.
Cleveland Browns: A Deshaun Watson Retirement
The Browns have a lot of problems to fix, but getting out from under Deshaun Watson's contract would help a lot of the issues. Watson still has two years left after this season on his deal — currently with a $73 million cap hit the next two seasons (you read that right). The Browns need to get out from this essentially dead money, but with Watson's contract being fully guaranteed with a no-trade clause, retirement is the only easy path forward.
I don't see Watson walking away from all that money, though.
Denver Broncos: Nothing?
Broncos fans are kinda living the dream right now, what could they possibly need for Christmas?
Bo Nix is the best rookie QB from his draft class, Sean Payton has turned this team around with ease, and Denver is destined for the playoffs. Enjoy the moment Broncos fans, you don't need anything else this year!
Houston Texans: An Offensive Line
The Texans were supposed to take a step forward this year, but brutal offensive line play has stopped that ascent.
Only Caleb Williams has been sacked more than CJ Stroud this season and the Texans QB has been hurried more than any other passer. Per PFF, the Texans entered the 2024-25 NFL season with the 22nd ranked offensive line, but it's played more like 32nd. Stroud and Houston need a new OL this holiday season.
Indianapolis Colts: A Direction
What are the Colts doing? Is this a playoff team that's riding Joe Flacco or a retooling young squad with Anthony Richardson at the helm? The Colts have switched back and forth so many times this season, I've honestly lost track.
The Colts need to decide if Richardson is worth building around and pick a lane.
Jacksonville Jaguars: Trevor Lawrence Turnaround
Maybe Trevor Lawrence isn't the guy. Jaguars fans have been waiting for Lawrence to break out and become the elite QB he was always supposed to be. But, instead, he's probably the most mediocre passer in NFL.
The worst part is, the Jaguars signed Lawrence to a massive $275 million contract, so they NEED him to be the guy. Miracles do happen, though, especially this time of year. So, Jags fans can hope Lawrence turns into an elite passer this holiday season.
Kansas City Chiefs: A Blowout, Or Two
The Chiefs may be the most disrespected 13-1 team in NFL history. But, honestly, I understand why. Six of their last seven wins have been by a single possession and four of those have come by three or fewer points. The Chiefs need to start blowing teams out to earn respect. Or, I guess they can just win another Super Bowl to shut everyone up.
Las Vegas Raiders: Shedeur Sanders
As of now, the Raiders are on track for the first overall pick in the 2025 NFL Draft. That would unlock them the chance to select Colorado QB Shedeur Sanders, who threw for 25 touchdowns and 3926 yards on 74.2% completion this year. He's talented, electric, and would look great in black and grey. Give Raiders fans their new QB1.
Los Angeles Chargers: JK Dobbins' Return
JK Dobbins has had a bounce-back year with Jim Harbaugh and the Chargers, rushing for 70 yards-per-game and eight touchdowns. But, he's missed the last few weeks with an MCL sprain and LA's rushing attack just hasn't been the same. If Dobbins comes back soon, he can help the Chargers get to the playoffs and maybe make some noise when they get there.
Miami Dolphins: No More Cold Games
My gift to the Dolphins — and really more just for Tua — is no more cold weather games.
Tua has played in eight outdoor games in his career with a listed temperature of 45 degrees Fahrenheit or lower. He's 0-8 in those contests. Keep this man in a dome or in the tropics.
New England Patriots: Mike Vrabel
Under defensive head coach Jerod Mayo, the Patriots allow 24.1 points per game this season and 29.7 in the last three contests. They should change directions this offseason and turn to a different former-Patriot, defensive-minded head coach: Mike Vrabel. The former-Titans coach brings the vibes, the defense, and will be the perfect New England hero to lead this team back to the playoffs. Sorry Mayo, you're out.
New York Jets: A New Owner
Did y'all read that story from The Athletic about Woody Johnson? The Jets owner makes everyone call him Mr. Ambassador, vetoes trades because of Madden ratings, and talks shit to his own players in the locker room — yikes.
It certainly seems like New York's culture problems start at the very top, so maybe a new owner would change things? Jets fans need a lot of things this Christmas, but a new owner would be a good start.
Pittsburgh Steelers: A Younger Russ
I've been shocked at how well this whole Russell Wilson experiment has gone for the Pittsburgh Steelers.
Russ is 6-2 as a starter with 13 touchdowns and three interceptions. Quietly, Wilson has turned back the clock and been the exact upside QB the Steelers needed to complement their great defense.
The issue is, he's 36. The best gift Steelers fans could get this Christmas would be finding out Wilson de-aged himself and is actually 26 now. Unfortunately, it looks like Pittsburgh may be back to looking for a new QB soon if Wilson keeps aging.
Tennessee Titans: More Losses
The Titans are kind of stuck in no-mans land right now, projected to snag the sixth overall pick in the 2025 Draft. That won't be high enough to draft Sanders or Cam Ward, so we may be heading to another season of bad QB play in Tennessee. If the Titans fans want real change, they should hope for more losses and the chance to move up into that top two in the NFL Draft order.
NFC Team NFL Christmas Gifts
Arizona Cardinals: To Light A Fire Under Marvin Harrison Jr.
Billed as the next great wide receiver, Marvin Harrison Jr. has been disappointing this season. He’s reeled in just 47-of-92 targets for 687 yards, and added seven touchdowns. Harrison Jr. was supposed to be the next great wideout to take over the league (YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE!), a la Justin Jefferson and Ja’Marr Chase. The son of the Hall-of-Famer faces a long road to that level.
Arizona will need more out of Harrison to reach the playoffs in 2025.
Atlanta Falcons: A bubble to keep Michael Penix Jr. healthy
The 8th-overall pick in the 2024 NFL Draft, Michael Penix Jr. will make his first NFL start in Week 16 against the New York Giants. The Falcons mercifully benched Kirk Cousins this week. However, at 7-7 the season is already lost. Atlanta will need to both see what Penix Jr’s got under center, and keep him healthy. Remember, Penix lost multiple years in college with a myriad of injuries. So, why not protect him with a bubble? Maybe Jake Gyllenhaal can help?
Carolina Panthers: A No. 1 WR
Since the Panthers offensive line has played better of late, their top Christmas wish is a number one wide receiver. Carolina should do everything possible to bring Tee Higgins to town this off-season, and pair his contested catch skills with quarterback Bryce Young.
Chicago Bears: An offensive genius as head coach
At the top of Chicago’s wish list for St. Nick is a competent offensive coach. First-overall pick Caleb Williams has been sacked an NFL-high 58 times this season. ‘Da Bears need a coach who can corral Williams’ gunslinger instincts and provide a reputable offensive structure for the team.
Dallas Cowboys: A New DC
If Mike McCarthy somehow manages to keep his job, the Cowboys desperately need to ask Santa for a new defensive coordinator. Mike Zimmer has been a disaster. The Cowboys sit 26th in total EPA allowed this season, and dead last in rushing EPA by a wide margin.
Detroit Lions: A gift from the injury Gods
The Lions simply need their players to stop getting hurt. An NFL-high 15 defensive players now lie on injured reserve. The carnage of Week 15 left Carlton Davis and Alim McNeill out indefinitely. Should the Lions advance to the Super Bowl, they may get star pass-rusher Aidan Hutchinson back, but they need their injury report to shorten. Immediately.
Green Bay Packers: Jaire Alexander back on the field
Green Bay desperately needs their top cover corner to actually play football. Alexander has now missed 17 of the Packers last 31 regular season games. As Green Bay heads toward playoff football, Jeff Hafley’s defense needs its best player on the field.
Los Angeles Rams: A Competent Corner
Secondary help is quickly becoming a theme of the NFC’s Christmas wish list. Despite winning three straight games to take control of the NFC West, the Rams are in dire need. Ahkello Witherspoon and Darious Williams are replacement level players, with each allowing a passer rating over 102.
Minnesota Vikings: A No. 1 CB
Brian Flores’ blitz-scheme has brought Vikings fans great tidings of joy this season. However, they’d be even better with a top-tier cover corner. Byron Murphy Jr. has allowed 61 receptions on 86 targets, with his opposite number-former NFL Defensive Player of the Year, Stephone Gilmore allowing 45 catches on 68 targets and a 92 passer rating.
New Orleans Saints: Cap Relief
Can Santa balance the books for New Orleans? After years of backloading contracts, I’m not sure if even St. Nick’s magic can wipe their salary cap clean. According to OvertheCap, the Saints currently have -$63M in cap space for 2025, with just 49 players under contract.
New York Giants: A capable quarterback
Simply put, the Giants quarterback room has been awful since Eli Manning’s retirement. The G-Men made a huge mistake letting Saquon Barkley walk and continuing to pay Daniel Jones. They later realized that mistake, benched Jones and cut him. Not a great look for Joe Schoen’s front office. They’ll likely take another swing at the can in the 2025 NFL Draft, where Miami’s Cam Ward, and Colorado’s Shedeur Sanders should be high on their wish list.
New York is currently on pace to earn the top pick in the draft. According to FanDuel, Sanders is a heavy -200 favorite to be the number one overall pick, with Ward next at +195 odds.
Philadelphia Eagles: Jalen Hurts’ Confidence Back
If you hadn’t noticed, the Philadelphia Eagles are a juggernaut. Philly’s outstanding defense and the play of Saquon Barkley have the Eagles surging up the Super Bowl odds board. There’s just one problem, Jalen Hurts hasn’t been himself lately. The former second-team All-Pro has tossed for under 200 yards in four of his last five games. The Eagles will need Hurts at his very best as they target another deep playoff run. Some good old fashioned milk and cookies should do the trick.
San Francisco 49ers: A clean bill of health for Christian McCaffrey & Trent Williams in 2025
The Super Bowl hangover has been real for the San Francisco 49ers. Perhaps it was the 400+ touch season, but CMC has missed most of the year, and Williams has only played in 10 games. San Francisco needs both of them to stay healthy to make one last run at a Super Bowl title with his core in 2025.
Seattle Seahawks: OL Help
Mike MacDonald has transformed the Seattle Seahawks defense. Now, it’s time to work on the offensive side of the football. Specifically an offensive line that ranks 24th in PFF’s pass-blocking grade. Guard Laken Tomlinson, and right tackle Abraham Lucas’ pass-blocking grades of 53.4 and 61.1 ain’t gonna cut it. Seattle sits in the top-five in the NFL in passing attempts and will have to upgrade their offensive line to contend in the future.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers: An elite pass-rusher
Sack artists Shaquille Barrett and Jason Pierre-Paul are long gone. Todd Bowles is known for exotic blitz packages, but this year Tampa’s defense has struggled. Defensive tackles Calijah Kancey and Vita Vea are tied with linebacker Lavonte David with six sacks at the top of the team leader board. Tampa needs to ask the North Pole for an edge rusher that can get after the quarterback.
Washington Commanders: Help in the secondary
Washington’s top-three corners, Benjamin St. Juste, rookie Mike Sainristil, and Noah Igbinoghene have all surrendered a passer rating over 92. Former first-round pick Emmanuel Forbes was released earlier this month. Dan Quinn’s defense must add help at both corner and safety this off-season. They should ask Santa for help.
